You’ve been practicing active networking.
You’ve been talking to everyone you can.
You’ve been pushing past your shyness, and putting yourself out there. You’ve been working hard to make the acquaintance of everyone you can.
You’ve even joined organizations like Toastmasters and The Chamber of Commerce.
Yet, after several months of diligence, you notice people still forget your name, they still break their promises to contact you regarding the great information you offered them last week, and worst of all, they haven’t passed you any leads on ways to improve yourself or your business.
“What the F#$%???”, you wonder to yourself.
Good question. What the F#$% indeed!
The bottom line is that there could be any number of reasons the people don’t remember you, forget to call, and or withhold information. Maybe you live in a crappy area where everyone you meet is a true and genuine shmuck! Or do you live near some sort of chemical plant that pumps memory killing toxins into the air? Perhaps you’re a recently released felon who’s just finished up a 8 year stint at a max security prison for murder and everyone knows it?
Chances are, the reason for your lack of luck is not included above. Instead, you could be displaying any of these 5 non-verbal habits that are sending weirdness and weakness signals to the people you meet.
Do You Exhibit any Strange Nervous Mannerisms?
Do you bite your nails, wring your hands, twirl your hair? There are a number of strange mannerisms that communicate lack of trust, lack of confidence, dishonesty, or weakness.
Nervousness freaks people out. It makes them wonder what you’re hiding, what you’re really feeling. It makes people wonder why you would be nervous, and it makes them wonder if they themselves should be nervous too. So check your nervous mannerisms. Become aware of them. Practice not doing them. It’ll feel uncomfortable at first, but you can push through that just like you do with any shyness you feel.
What’s Your Eye Contact Like?
Do you hold eye contact too strong? Do you glance away all the time? Do you completely avoid eye contact?
If you were on a date, and the person you were with kept looking away from you, what would you conclude? That they were insecure? That they were weird? That they were deeply troubled?
Yes Yes Yes!
What if the person held your gaze so strongly that it made you want to vomit? WEIRD!
So check your eye contact.
What are Your Feet Doing?
Do you stand calmly? Or do you pace? Do you shuffle back and forth? Do you rock and sway?
If you’re not good at being still, chronic movement sends a loud message that you are not comfortable in your own skin. This is a dead give away that you’ve got troublesome things going on inside.
How’s Your Posture?
Hunched back of Toastmasters? Practice your posture! This is so So SOO important. Good posture passes on powerful messages of strength and vitality. Poor posture EXACTLY the opposite!
How’s Your Breathing?
Pay attention? Are you holding your breath? If you are, that’s a powerful message of stress and discomfort. Learn the art of present moment breathing. Pay attention to your breath. Feel it. Listen to it. Doing so will keep you in the moment and aware of the others. If you’re holding your breath, people are aware of it, even if you’re not. Such will attack your image.
So it may be that you live in a very strange place with lots of strange people who never remember or do what they say.
Or, it may be that you’re sending sour signals of something amiss. If it’s the latter, then you know what you need to do. If it’s the former, it seems to me you know what to do too.
All for now! Happy Networking!